A Christmas card, Just For You!

Apparently tomorrow is some sort of big holiday. Who knew, right? Hallmark is always making up these crappy holidays just to get people to buy more $8 musical cards.

Nevertheless, it has come to my attention that I did not send each and every one of my dear friends an individualized holiday greeting card. A situation that I will attempt to remedy, right this instant, by providing a template you can use to create your very own personalized holiday greeting from yours truly.

Simply print out this post, circle and/or insert your chosen personalizations, and voilà – a heartfelt holiday wish from me. You’re so very welcome.

– – – – – – – >cut here< – – – – – – – –

Dear _____,

Wow, another whole year has gone by. Hey, remember that day I [made a hilarious tweet / got your dog drunk / hit on your aunt / got you out of that speeding ticket]? That was so crazy. And then there was the time you [Favr’d my tweet / threw up on my kitchen floor / made that awful gazpacho / hit a pedestrian with your Segway]. It’s been a wild year, huh? Yeah.

You’ve been such a great friend ever since we met [in third grade / on Twitter / at reform school / in the confessional], and I just wanted to wish you the happiest [Christmas / Chanukah / Kwanzaa / Ramadan / parole] ever.

My best wishes to you and your [lovely spouse / girlfriend / boyfriend / mother that you still live with at age 36 / sexually ambiguous live-in “friend”], and good luck with [grad school / your new job / impending cosmetic surgery / recovering from rickets] in 2009.

Your [friend / pal / impersonal internet acquaintance / AA sponsor],

[Tony / Tone / @tony_d / Mr. Delgrosso]

posted 12/24/08 at 8:20am to Me me me, Snark · 7 replies · »

7 replies to “A Christmas card, Just For You!”

  1. TjL said:

    Thanks! I’m still working on my 1-page end of the year letter designed to make everyone envious of everything that I’ve accomplished this year.

    All I have left is the part where I do something enviable.

    Dec 24, 2008 at 8:29am
  2. Superfantastic said:

    I can’t believe you’d bring up that gazpacho at a time like this. I paid your hospital co-pay. Can we finally just let it go?

    Dec 24, 2008 at 9:18am
  3. Moeskido said:

    If it’s only one page long and contains no mention of pets, you’re not trying hard enough.

    Dec 24, 2008 at 9:33am
  4. Mike said:

    Happy [Christmas / Hanukkah / Kwaanza / Life Day] to you too!

    Dec 24, 2008 at 10:33am
  5. peeppeep said:

    this is *so* much better than my holiday greeting; a picture of my tater tots covered by two yarmulkes that says “Breast Wishes for a Happy Hanukkah”. decorum, urdoinitrong.

    Dec 24, 2008 at 8:20pm
  6. Links for Thursday, Dec. 18 - Sunday, Dec. 28 | mindpollution.org said:

    […] delgrosso dot com » A Christmas card, Just For You! – Tony Delgrosso goes the form-letter route for this year's Christmas Card, and hilarity ensues: "Wow, another whole year has gone by. Hey, remember that day I [made a hilarious tweet / got your dog drunk / hit on your aunt / got you out of that speeding ticket]? That was so crazy. And then there was the time you [Favr'd my tweet / threw up on my kitchen floor / made that awful gazpacho / hit a pedestrian with your Segway]. It’s been a wild year, huh? Yeah." […]

    Dec 28, 2008 at 1:01pm
  7. Hissy said:

    You’re okay with me using this and signing my name to it, right? I mean, it’s not like we know any of the same people.

    Jan 6, 2009 at 12:07am

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