OK, I asked this the other night on Twitter and didn’t get any satisfaction so I’m going to ask again.
Where is that Binaca I bought in 1981?
C’mon, you guys. I remember I bought it at Stoler’s and then I used it just before I was going to talk to Sue Childress in third period English.
And now I can’t find it.
I’m not mad. Yet. I just want it back.
Dude, get over it. I’ve been telling you for years that you left it in the backseat of Suzie Lubovitz’s Mazda. You made me use my fake ID to buy a sixpack of Schlitz, and when I got back to the car, you and Suzie were going at it in the backseat like rabid gerbils, and I saw it fall out of your corduroys. I said “John, you dropped–” and then you yelled at me and made me drive you both to the docks so you could make out some more, even though you knew I hadn’t learned to drive stick yet. And then I had to stand outside next to the warehouse while you fogged up the windows for an hour, and it was cold out there and those Teamsters said some very mean things to me and I was scared.