delgrosso dot com » Lulz

My mother fancies herself an internet humorist.

Tony — Sat, 11 Jul 2009 16:18:00 +0000

Also, passive aggressive much, mom..?

Also, I hope my dad doesn’t try to get in on the act with “Foddr”…

(edited to add: I am not even close to being on the “Favrd child” leaderboard)

Nickelback-bashing

Tony — Sun, 07 Jun 2009 02:02:28 +0000

Clearly my peer group is easily pleased with a little Nickelback-bashing.

And here I was under the impression that you all liked my smart jokes.

Tiny owl backpack

Tony — Sat, 30 May 2009 19:12:09 +0000

Tiny owl backpack

(via fuckyeahtinyowlsonthings)

Where is it..?

Tony — Fri, 29 May 2009 19:25:41 +0000

Georgia O’Keeffe, Jawbone and fungus, 1931, oil on canvas

I stared at this fucking painting in the gallery for a half an hour this afternoon, and I still couldn’t see the vagina. Do you have to cross your eyes like one of those “magic eye” drawings? I can’t figure this lady out. I guess I just don’t “get” art.

The family that drinks together

Tony — Mon, 22 Sep 2008 15:55:58 +0000

My friend Scott documents his drinking of a noxious Budweiser Chelada, via fine camerawork by his 9-year-old daughter. Hilarity.

If you’re on the Twitter, he’s @sclevy.

Random Insult Generator

Josh — Fri, 05 Sep 2008 20:31:37 +0000

I just wanted to take the time to personally thank Tony for being a gracious host and trusting me as a guest blogger in his time of absence. You have all been a very well-mannered audience and in the end, we can all say we had a great time, but deep down I know how you truly feel. It’s okay, I deserve it for selling those nude pictures of your mom.

I look forward to the possibility of writing for Tony again and maybe even working together at the capacity of what could be considered a slightly maladjusted individual with severe back hair. I wanted to post more on the topic of tech & science and not be so personal, but I just didn’t have it in me. So, I will leave you with this:

If there was one wickedly formidable superhuman power I wish I had, it would have to be an innate random insult generator. I can almost count on one hand the numerous times this ability would have proven advantageous. Sure, you can fly, but I’ll be referring to you as a [INSERT RANDOMLY GENERATED INSULT HERE] while doing so. Also, the ability to disable vulgar language would be beneficial, just in case I get into a name-calling match with another 5-year old. Take that, you spam humping thighbone nibbler.

If you have found any and/or all of what I have written to be overtly offensive, then please follow me on twitter. We hope you had fun on your vacation Tony, good luck cleaning up this mess. I left your phone bill next to the garbage, which I also didn’t take out.

- Josh Hopkins, guest blogger

You know, an Apple one.

Tony — Wed, 09 Jul 2008 18:55:26 +0000

Excerpt from an actual email exchange I had today with my nephew, age 11:

Nephew: Uncle Tony, I was wondering how much an apple laptop costs?
Me: If you want an Apple laptop for school, you can get a MacBook for $999.
Nephew: But how much would an apple laptop be not the macbooks just the regular one?

See, he doesn’t want a MacBook, he wants an Apple laptop. Ah. My mistake.

I feel confident that this kid has a job waiting for him at TechCrunch when he grows up.

Talking about language

Tony — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 12:56:42 +0000

Every time I get the itch to go back to grad school for an MFA, I realize that I’d have to spend two years of my life listening to people like Stephen Fry’s character in this skit…

…and then the itch goes away.

Match(game)maker

Tony — Fri, 08 Jun 2007 18:07:59 +0000

It struck me just now, out of absolute nowhere, that Dwight Schrute is quite possibly the love child of Brett Somers and Charles Nelson Reilly.

Clearly I need to quit work for the day. No more Genius will spill forth onto the page when my brain is spewing out that kind of randomness.

[50 bonus points if you laughed without having to Google any of the aforementioned people; 25 bonus points if you knew the names but had to Google photos for the full effect.]