This is just one of the many reasons why I hate using the Tumblr dashboard.

(h/t to Ryan for demonstrating this so perfectly)

posted 7/24/09 at 8:13pm to Site stuff, Snark · 0 replies · permalink



What in the sam hell is this?

I did not sign up for this. In fact, I’m still recovering from that Tweeteorite I had to dodge last week.

Something tells me @textism is not thrilled right now.

Favrd : Pulitzer :: favstar/Tweetiorite : America’s Got Talent

posted 7/11/09 at 12:21pm to Slightly Too Long For Twitter, Snark · 0 replies · permalink

The Onion: 17-Year-Old Thinks She’s Getting Into Photography

The Onion: 17-Year-Old Thinks She’s Getting Into Photography


After wasting an afternoon taking pictures of a broken tricycle, moss on trees, and the shadow of a wrought-iron fence, Churchill Alternative High School senior Jessica Ivers falsely informed family and friends Saturday that she was getting into photography. “I love the way real film looks,” said Ivers, who has owned the old single-lens reflex 35 millimeter camera for exactly one week…

So what’s the right way to get into photography, then?

According to most critics on Flickr and and such, the process is as follows:

-Be older than 45 and start every photography conversation with “I’ve been doing this for 25 years, and…”
-Have a lot of expensive current gear, as well as some expensive vintage gear.
-Talk about that gear in purely technical terms at all times.
-Understand that your gear is the Right Gear, and everyone else’s is the Wrong Gear.
-Be pedantic about every minor detail of your lenses, and make sure to commit every spec to memory including, but not limited to, exact weight in grams, focus throw, and circle of confusion.
-Never use squishy words like art, interpretation, aesthetic, composition, or beautiful. Photography is for technicians, not creative people who don’t know the proper way to use their gear.
-Have a full portfolio of technically perfect but visually lifeless photographs. Wide landscapes, mountains, trees, and deer are popular subjects.

I think that’s a pretty good starting point.

posted 6/8/09 at 12:16pm to Photography, Snark, The stupid, it burns · 0 replies · permalink


I have a mole just above my navel.

It’s getting fairly large, so I think he needs a name. I considered Patrick, but that didn’t really fit his demeanor. Edgar is a better choice, because it incorporates his quirky and generally non-threatening side while still leaving the vague impression that at any moment he may transmogrify into a malignant melanoma stuffed full of pigmenty death.

Then again, Edgar is a bit of an antiquated name, and doesn’t coincide well with the fact that he lives inside of graphic tees most of the time rather than finely tailored shirtings.

Also, this conversation would be much less awkward if my dermatologist and psychiatrist were the same person.

posted 5/28/09 at 5:18pm to Me me me, Slightly Too Long For Twitter, Snark · 0 replies · permalink

J-Money on snacking


A Partial List of Things I Have Eaten While at the Coast:

-Bacon Cheeseburger
-Bleu Cheeseburger
-Styrofoam Cup Full of Fries (2)
-Cardboard Carton Full of Peanuts (2)
-Lobster Tail with Bowl of Butter for Dipping
-Farfalle Pasta with Roasted Peppers
-Moose Tracks Ice Cream (1/2 Gallon…but not in one sitting)
-S’mores Pop Tarts (3)
-Cap’n Crunch’s Crunch Berries Cereal (1/2 box)
-Cheez-Its Duoz (1 box)
-Hush Puppies (7,400)
-Flounder ‘N’ Shrimp
-Fish Tacos (2)
-Nachos with Queso for Dipping (18 gallons)
-Mahi Mahi (8 oz.)
-Island Rice which is just like regular rice but with chunks of pineapple and some other blended fruits that I might not have eaten if I hadn’t sucked back a giant margarita
-Bojangles 2 Piece Dark Meat Meal with Green Beans and a Biscuit
-Extra Biscuit (1)
-Spinach & Avocado Salad (with Bacon)
-Soft Pretzel (1)
-Slice of White Pizza (1)
-Curried Scallops & Shrimp
-Fried Plantains (3)

Yes, but what did you eat on your second day there..?

posted 5/28/09 at 4:38pm to Snark · 0 replies · permalink